Post by M.A.Y. on Aug 23, 2002 12:11:17 GMT -5
Lulu has just questioned Nick's ability to love, even whether he loves himself. Nick's mind is reeling from her bold assessment of him. He is angry and fearful all at once. He wants to explain to her about himself, but isn't sure what to say. He's never had to open himself up and isn't sure how to.
"Lulu...wait...I
Lulu, who is walking away from Nick, stops, her back still towards him. A cold wind blows in off the Allegheny River and she shivers pulling her coat tightly around herself. Thinking of Nick always aroused two things in her: confusion and passion; but the passion would often vacillate between anger and something she felt was approaching love. She turns to look at Nick. He is having trouble meeting her gaze.
"There's a lot about me you don't know--or understand." Each word spoken is like torture for him as he feels the emotional defences he so often relies upon falling.
"Then tell me something...if you want to."
"I know that you want me to say that I--"
"I just want the truth...whatever it is."
"Lulu, I'm really struggling with this..."
"Why is it so hard for you?"
"I don't mean us, if there is an us. But everything...I have to fight so hard to keep everything under control, because I don't know what will happen if I don't. No, that's not true...the problem is that I know exactly what I'll do if I let things go...and I can't end up there again."
"The drugs--right?"
Nick nods. He meets her gaze for the first time and takes a step to close the gap between them. Nick reaches for her hand, and looks down at his fingers holding hers. He takes her other had and pressing them together wraps his own around hers, puling them up between them, a connection and barrier all at once. Her fingers are cold and he begins to rub them in a gentle effort to warm her.
"Nick, I have to go."
Nick is desperate for her to stay, but cannot think of anything to say. He reluctantly lets her hands fall from his. They say nothing for a moment and then Lulu is gone, leaving Nick standing so very alone.
"Lulu...wait...I
Lulu, who is walking away from Nick, stops, her back still towards him. A cold wind blows in off the Allegheny River and she shivers pulling her coat tightly around herself. Thinking of Nick always aroused two things in her: confusion and passion; but the passion would often vacillate between anger and something she felt was approaching love. She turns to look at Nick. He is having trouble meeting her gaze.
"There's a lot about me you don't know--or understand." Each word spoken is like torture for him as he feels the emotional defences he so often relies upon falling.
"Then tell me something...if you want to."
"I know that you want me to say that I--"
"I just want the truth...whatever it is."
"Lulu, I'm really struggling with this..."
"Why is it so hard for you?"
"I don't mean us, if there is an us. But everything...I have to fight so hard to keep everything under control, because I don't know what will happen if I don't. No, that's not true...the problem is that I know exactly what I'll do if I let things go...and I can't end up there again."
"The drugs--right?"
Nick nods. He meets her gaze for the first time and takes a step to close the gap between them. Nick reaches for her hand, and looks down at his fingers holding hers. He takes her other had and pressing them together wraps his own around hers, puling them up between them, a connection and barrier all at once. Her fingers are cold and he begins to rub them in a gentle effort to warm her.
"Nick, I have to go."
Nick is desperate for her to stay, but cannot think of anything to say. He reluctantly lets her hands fall from his. They say nothing for a moment and then Lulu is gone, leaving Nick standing so very alone.