Why won't LuLu tell Nick what she feels?

[bodacia]

Nick has expressed his feelings numerous times with words, actions and looks, and in response LuLu has expressed... NOTHING! It doesn't seem fair that she's now expecting him to respond favorably to her "Here I am, here we are" crap.

LuLu, how about telling or showing Nick how YOU feel about HIM for once? Otherwise I'll have to assume you're just using him for sex.

[spunkymungbeans]

I have to admit I have the same reaction to the latest episodes.

I'm sure Nick loves LuLu because of how he behaves. He has even SAID he cares.

I think LuLu likes to play it safe. She wants him to make the moves and be the first the say the 'L' word. But I think she is being unrealistic. It is about time she was a little more open about what she wants from the relationship as well.

Remember how Nick had a little dig at her in the car on the way to Barbara's wedding about usually leaving it to other people to take control of her life? I think he was absolutely right on the money there.

Now she is after this job he must surely be thinking that it wasn't serious for her.

[pattycake]

I agree with you bodacia. Sometimes I get frustrated watching these two. I think they do try to tell each other how they feel but unfortunately like any couple in real life, the difference between what they want to say and how they say it completely contradicts one another or just don't relate to each other.

I think despite they're best efforts to really communicate, they both have emotional baggage to work out. These two, despite their success' professionally are very insecure about themselves. I;m sure Nick feels like failure for the things he's done recently and the people he has let down. I;m sure LuLu also feels insecure because of her failed marriage and perhaps her mother. I think this is all psychology really--at least in my opinion

I understand where LuLu is comming from. She's basically reached a fork in the road. I think she feels tormented because here she is finally with someone who she is really with someone whom she feels could be everything to her: her bestfriend, lover, soulmate etc. But she's also got this tremendous opportunity to move up her profession. Had she been younger I think the choice would be easier. Wasn' it just recently when she was still married to Bryan that she revealed to Nick that she was trying to get pregnant?

I think she feels she is ready to settle down--but only with the right person. I believe she feels Nick is this right person but she also wants to know this is what he wants too. She just needs to hear it--She wants to hear him say it out loud. I think that's what her marriage to Brian has thought her, like any other woman, she knows she deserves this--she deserves to be loved and have the opportunity to love someone.

That's why for the first time in a while I really sympathize with LuLu.

[Cassandra]

IMO, she doesn't know how she feels about him.

She's using him to fulfill her secret desire to be a bad girl, since her dream of the perfect husband, perfect family, etc. didn't work out.

BUT oh horrors! She's supposed to be a good girl! She can't be thought of as having sex in the meeting room, bathrooms, whatever. So, she's in the process of domesticating the bad boy (flowers, her bed) and making sure everyone knows that she's not having casual sex (dinner party) and that she's in control (apron).

IMO, the job offer in California is serving two purposes:

(1) Child of the 60's or not, I thought Alvin was a little too casual with their relationship. I think he placed a call to his friend in California to 'arrange' for the job offer. Subtle method to call a halt to the office sex, eh?

(2) It's the perfect way to make the bad boy commit! She's no more in love with Nick than she is with the yoga man. She's a woman on the rebound from a broken relationship, ready to stomp on the feelings of any man who cares for her.

I think we're building up to an ultimate cliff-hanger episode. All season, I kept reading complaints on various boards 'where is Alvin? where is Burton? where is James? focus more on Nick!'

Well, DH had us all along. Burton, LuLu, Jake, Alvin, James - everyone has 'trouble in their mind', and everyone's problems are causing what keeps us watching --- major, major Nick angst.

:cussing::cussing:

[Cassandra]

You know, I adore the smilies, but sometimes they just don't come off right --- It's supposed o read :


major :cussing::cussing:, major Nick angst.

:bouncing::bouncing: (I just like the bouncies.)

[cecilia]

I dont think this is like " I agre" or " I disagree"...since everything is in our eyes, everybody has a different point of view. I was sure Nick was "infatuated" since the very beginning, but not so sure he was in love. Imo it was too son. He liked her and just started to know her. I think Lulu liked him as much, but she had her boyfriend and hardly knew Nick (besides the fact that he is a probationer on a drug case), so she made the safe choise.
Then, later, Nick´s feeling got stronger, and so did hers. If Nick would have ever felt the way many fans did (that she never showed something...) I´d believe Nick is the less believable man , even for tgland...or he is just a brat who wants to have what he wanted since they met, in order to drop it once he had it. And I dont think so. (And if this if the other option, than Lulu is completely right wanting to hear something more from him.....). Sometimes not watching the shows (I saw fery few eps of the second season, mainly the last eps.) and just reading the post or summaries gives an interesting point "to" view....I see a lot of contradictions when it comes to talk about Lulu´s feelings , and the above is and those are others:
-if she believes NIck has loved her since...ILP?....Solidarity?...she´d be the immature and shallow....Nick hardly knew her.....
-if Nick showed for Kim the same or more (he didnt show intimacy issues, he was comfortable in her bed since the first moment, he asked her out withour having her insisting, he gave her THAT look too....etc.,etc,...), why would Lulu be sure he NOW wants to take this more straight, when she saw Nick dumping Kim (even if she doesnt know the way he did it....)
-if Nick is a hunter who will dump her after getting her, than she is right trying to have something more said before letting her feelings out (and IMO they are now in the same level of "feelings out")(and dont see Nick as a hunter....he never did it before or with her.... I believe he is in love now...as much as she is.)
Well, have to go back to work.

:wave:

[cecilia]

I hope the typing and the spell mistakes dont make my post impossible to understand!

[bodacia]

cecilia said:

(and IMO they are now in the same level of "feelings out")

This really isn't true, at least not from what we've seen and can infer. Nick has told her he cares about her and wants to be with her. He's shown many instances of protective behavior and gone out of his way to help her. And she can't have missed all those gooey looks he's sent her way over the past year.

She's told him nothing whatsoever about how she feels about him. Oh, she has called him a flying monkey and implied he has no conscience and various other not-so-nice things! She sleeps with him whenever he wants it, makes him pretend they are a real couple, and all without expressing one word of affection.

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that - I liked the new independent post-accident LuLu and if she wants a sex-based relationship then that's great (as Nick would say). But to expect him to reveal his love or commitment or whatever it was she wanted to hear in response to "here I am", and basically threatening to leave the state if he doesn't --emotional blackmail!-- is just unfair and selfish. I don't like THAT LuLu much.

[Rosiiii1]

I agree cecilia we all have personal biases, and that some things are all in the eye of the beholder -- but I try like heck to figure out where the writers want to take us with these characters, and what they are trying to achieve.

Based on how Lulu has been portrayed, as a good, honest person with integrity, a person who does her best to be faithful and loyal (all the adjectives Nick used in the "No Good Deed," courtroom scene defending her), plus just how she's presented overall -- I don't feel that they would create a "bad girl," persona for her in the last few eps of this season who will stomp on Nick's heart just to satisfy her carnal urges. I just don't. That's not what I get from the character.

I agree with pattycake's assessment, and I too have sympathy for her. She's in pain. Like Nick, she has her own insecurities - she also has had close to a year and a half to observe how Nick is with women. She has seen how far they've gotten when they get the urge to reign him in. (i.e., Kim contemplates going further in the relationship, Kim is dumped)

Lulu was fooled once by Brian (Mr. Stability & family practice man likes picking up hookers), so she most likely doesn't trust her own judgement that well -- even what she sees right in front of her.

Nick 'caring,' being 'concerned' about her and wanting her sexually, may not translate in Lulu's mind to wanting a committment with her as far as she knows. She very obviously wants him to be hers, and she wants to be his, but she's questioning if he wants that level of relationship. I don't think Lulu can be any other kind of woman except one that's fully committed - that's how they've portrayed her. If he doesn't feel the same way, I fear she may feel she needs to move on, so she doesn't get hurt. Having made such a big mistake previously, I can undersatnd her being gun-shy, and not laying all her cards on the table with him either.

Nick is aware that Lulu wants something from him, that's why he's frustrated - he knows that he's not giving her what she needs - and he's frustrated by that as well. So in my view, Nick knows that Lulu is not "using," him. If she were - he would see a more happy go lucky person winging off to California. Instead he sees her pain and anger over what he's not giving her -- which of course is why he was aching to talk to her as she left, and trying to catch her.

As the viewing audience, we're in a better position to know what's in Nick's heart and mind. We know more than Lulu. We know how Nick feels about her.

[cecilia]

Hey, bodacia, as I said....it is in our eyes.....and if Nick is really so hooked on someone that doesnt show anything at all....he needs something more than anger mgmt therapy....IMO!....
I watch this show because of Nick, but I like Lulu in a second row.....if she is for the sex, she is the lucky girl who happens to have the sungod to have sex with....so, if she leaves him and goes to california because she doesnt have any feelings toward him....well, there´s gonna be a lot of happy fans and a lot of disappointed ones (including me-my-myself....I?)...
But if I were Lulu (and to me, the good of this show is that you can relate to people you know or yourself in a lot of situations ) I would need something more than care ( since the sex, as you said, is HER idea )....Again: IMO she saw him with Kim, having sort of a relationship (to many viewers more solid that this one they have...) and fleeing the minute she wanted to talk (I didnt see it, I´m talking for the posts I´ve read)...or fleeing because he wasnt that interested (in the opinion of many others posters, but Lulu doesnt have a reason to know if Nick had feelings for Kim...)....so, saying that vague line: "here we are..." she was propably tiptoeing, knowing she could be steeping landmines...

I hope Lulu stays, or comes back soon. I like them together, and I think Nick loves her, what is more important. I think she loves him too. Is she one of those women that need to be in a couple?...all the women I know like that are married and the husbands dont complain, so I dont see a point against her....

Another poster said that maybe Lulu wanted him to say something about the job, since she trusts him: yes, it works for me too.....

Back to work again...:wave:

[cecilia]

Rosiiii, this is another moment in this show when I think female characters struggle to survive writers....
I dont know. I may be too analytic (thic)...but there are many things with Nick that have to be pondered by Lulu: not only what she might be thinking about nickandkim, but the drugs, the tense/sometimes un-existent relationship he has with burton (the only relative of nick´s she knows....), showing his affection by not telling her her husband was cheating?.... Too many things, IMO. And she is not a baby....and she is probably worried about her finances, they said so last months...
Lulu probably needs something to justify (to herself, to the world,....whatever) she is dropping a good job in a new city,where she could have "a fresh start". I´m not thinking diamonds, but...."this job is good , but you already have things to do here.....(giving her THAT look)
.....if you know what I mean (what she knows for sure!)
..."....something.

Sometimes I hate my job....

[juliana106]

Guest-bodacia said:

makes him pretend they are a real couple

I certianly did not see any "pretending" going on between them. While all of the previews and perhaps a few of the spoilers inferred that Lulu asked Nick to pretend or act like they were a real couple, that's not what happened at all. Lulu told him they should have a dinner party for James, Laurie and Alvin. She told him she wanted flowers, and to go out on a *real* date... she wasn't asking him to assume the "role" of a *real* boyfriend, but looking for some assurance that they were a couple, she needed to know that their relationship wasn't just about sex for him, and she wanted others to know that as well.

As for the other comments about Lulu not telling Nick how she feels about him, I really do think this is as a result of how Nick has reacted toward her emotional outpours in the past -- the one incident that particularly comes to mind is "In Loco Parentis." I agree with what Pattycake and Rosiiii suggested, about Lulu being in pain and having her own insecurities, probably rooting from her failed marriage and her turbulent (at best) homelife with the absentee Caroline and who knows what type of father. I also think that Lulu might see it in her best interest to be particularly cautious with this relationship, 1. because she has watched or probably heard of Nick's various other relations and saw how those ended (most notably with Kim) and 2. because she is probably very reluctant to lay her heart out on the line first, as I am guessing might have been the situation with Brian because she held onto him for years. She probably has an immense fear of being "wrong again" -- and would much rather allow her head to tell her heart to shut up than allow herself to get hurt.

If Lulu didn't care for Nick, she never would've tried to bring him into her home, and she certainly wouldn't have pressed him about intimacy issues which apparently she thought might hinder a more serious relationship.

[jevees]

I really like LuLu and Nick relationship but I think she´s asking to much to him... I mean he tried to have something with her before she got married but she decided to play according to the secure plan, meaning marrying her boyfriend of all her life even when she kissed Nick with passion when she was engaged in the very same house she bought to live with her future husband!! SO now it seems to much to ask .... well I´m divorce let´s just cut the crap and have a real relationship... Because it was her fault that they didn´t have a relation before.... Is the idea clear? Sorry if it´s not... I don´t know how to express it better.... ;D
I felt sorry for LuLu in the last episode cause i think she needs to feel that Nick loves her and wants something serious with her.... but he alredy have said a couple of times that he REALLY CARES ABOUT HER.... and i saw yesterday intersection and MAIT and he just sees her with adoration... so It´s time LuLu dear to begin to think a little more about him... don´t you think so...
Another thing... there are not having a formal and real relationship just because suddenly she decided she wants to... couples don´t work at that way... he waited you, so wait him to be ready.... don´t push him!!
And i want to say that I really like LuLu so it´s bad for me to have to said this things about her... but i have to because she is been unfear... although Nick was kind of rude with her last episode... so apologized wouldn´t be that bad, insted of giving one to that little bitch of Shannon...

[juliana106]

Something else that I think we need to keep in mind is the idea of "elapsed time" -- its hard to say just how long they have been together, especially with DH's tendency to jump around between real time and show time.

The idea that I got when we saw them together in the bed was that yes, she did get Nick up there in her bedroom (who knows how long that had taken, from the intimacy issues discussion to the *dessert* after the dinner party), and he was quite at ease with the situation -- she had gotten him to take that next step, to be a bit more conventional and bring their romance home so-to-speak, and now she was waiting for him to take the next step, to tell her what he feels about them, or even how he feels about her -- now that she is his, and that they are together...

This is just my opinion, but I saw Lulu as very happy and quite content in the initial moments in the bedroom. I do believe that she was saying what she thought Nick would want to hear, that it was finally over with Brian, and that she was right there with him, where she wanted to be and where she thought he wanted to be. It was only after his silence, that she hesitated and brought up the job, perhaps in reaction to his lack of response... Had he said something in return to her "here I am.... here we are" I don't think she would've even *gone there* about the job...

And another thought, it does seem as if Lulu has given Nick time, even before they made the transition from friends to lovers. It was brought up in "WIMTY" that she was going out with Dan because he had the courage to ask her, as if Nick had been putting their relationship off for a while following the accident -- although anyone could see that he was clearly interested in pursuing one, as was she, which she made apparent in "Back in the Ring."

[Rosiiii1]

juliana106 said:

I certianly did not see any "pretending" going on between them. While all of the previews and perhaps a few of the spoilers inferred that LuLu asked Nick to pretend or act like they were a real couple, that's not what happened at all. LuLu told him they should have a dinner party for James, Laurie and Alvin. She told him she wanted flowers, and to go out on a *real* date... she wasn't asking him to assume the "role" of a *real* boyfriend, but looking for some assurance that they were a couple, she needed to know that their relationship wasn't just about sex for him, and she wanted others to know that as well.

Excellent points Sarah!

I recalled thinking to myself at the time, 'boy those blurbs were really off the wall this time, as to her motivations.' True, I think she used Alvin catching them mid-boink as a way to get Nick to accede to some things that he otherwise wouldn't have suggested on his own, and to have her co-workers not view their relationship as two horny employees getting it on after-hours...but like you say Sarah, I don't think it was to create a facade, or manufacture something that wasn't there only for the benefit of others.

Afterall, if that were the case (pretending) she could have skipped the "date," ("You know, you get dressed up, and I get dressed up, and we go someplace we look forward to going all day" - btw, she said that so cute ), because no one from the office would have been there to see that part of the equation anyway.