Daddy Nick & Mommy Lulu?

[Sarah]

Finals are ovvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvver... and I'm working on my continuations...

[juliana106]

First attempt... new format...

**
(that evening, Louisa's house)

Tapping lightly on the door before she stepped inside, Caroline smiled, "the aide clinic in California called while you were out...I forgot to mention it earlier."

Lulu looked up from her paperwork, "thank you."

Caroline nodded, "they'd like you hear from you tomorrow, if you'll be taking the job."

"I'll call them after my meeting with the board," she replied quietly, still very much unsure about what she would decide.

"I just wanted to let you know," Caroline turned away a moment, cringing at the thought of being away from her daughter, yet again.

Lulu flashed a weak smile, "right."

Hesitant to leave, Caroline stood there quietly a moment before asking, "so when did this job come up?"

"Before Brian left," Lulu answered, "I guess that's when started looking for something..."

Moving further into the room, Caroline stopped near the edge of her daughter's bed and sat down, "I thought you were happy here?"

Lulu shrugged, "I was, for a while."

"What changed?" Caroline asked nervously, wondering if her presence impacted Lulu's decision any.

"It just seemed like a good time to make a new start," Lulu replied by way of explanation

Caroline nodded, "with Brian?"

"Not necessarily," Lulu hadn't thought about him like that for sometime, the idea of them having any type of future besides trapped in the unhappy marriage they had found themselves in.

"Does Nick factor into any of this?" Caroline wondered why his name had gone unmentioned, knowing he had be a constant factor in her daughter's life since she started at LSP.

Lulu lowered her eyes, and her heart sank -- Nick factored into most of her decisions, now moreso than ever. She looked back at her mother, "I guess I didn't think I had much chance, not after staying with Brian... Nick was ready to move on..."

"Why did you marry him?" Caroline looked at her daughter sympathetically, understanding the concept all too well of the wrong one loving you right and not being able to do a damn thing about it.

Lulu tried to laugh off her apprehension in giving an answer, "you mean, why didn't I give up everything I thought I wanted on the off chance I might actually be happy?"

Her daughter's reluctance needed no explanation, Caroline knew exactly why Lulu acted as she did. It was because of her, and the life she never gave Lulu as a child -- the stable home, the loving environment, the security of knowing someone would always be there. She knew all too well, sometimes the truth hurt. Caroline shrugged, "call it what you will..."

"It just wasn't a chance I was willing to take at the time," Lulu replied defensively.

"Right," Caroline smiled sadly, assuming responsibility once again, "risking what you believed to be love and security..."

"Yeah," Lulu sighed, "but it sure didn't amount to much in the end..."

Caroline reached out and took Lulu's hand into her own, "if that's what Nick wanted, if that's what he had to offer -- would you stay?"

**

[jevees]

Thanks god... we are waiting for your posts!! ;D
:bouncing::bouncing:

[lambertoise]

Good, keep going...Fans are waiting here...!

[iiitch]

Much easier to read! I'll give you the most improved award :devilpopcorn:

(Couldn't find an award - so you'll have to make do with popcorn.)

[cecilia]

:bouncing:
....sarah, not enough!.....this is an agony....
I hope you do great on your exams....good luck there and dont forget your fans here!:littleangel:

[iiitch]

I noticed she was working in bed. Does that mean she is getting the bed rest that I recommended? :devilgrin:

[Garfan]

Hey iiitch I think you are being so nice to Sarah today. Good for you!

[iiiitchster]

Yeah, isn't she? I'm just so darn proud of her.

[juliana106]

**
(that same evening, Lulu's house)

Nick paced nervously on the porch, not quite sure what he was doing there. He had no idea what he would say when he saw her, if she was even home. All he knew was that he agreed they needed to talk, too much remained unsaid between them.

The Incline had been difficult, Nick didn't expect to react how he did when he saw her -- what made it worse was when she left, but he could understand why she didn't want to stay. He had given her no reason to, there was no way for her to know or understand all that he was feeling. Maybe that's why he had come.

Nick nervously approached the door, raising his unsteady hand to knock. There was a delay, no immediate answer -- which gave him perfect opportunity to run, to walk away. He knew he could at least say that he was there, that he came by...

Caroline got up from the couch, hearing the knock at the door. She glanced quickly at the clock, it was just after 10 o'clock. Carrying her martini glass with her to the door, she had no doubts about who it would be. Nick was the only person she could imagine coming by at this hour.

"What can I do for you, Mr. Fallin?" Caroline asked as she opened the door.

Nick looked up into her cool brown eyes, finding himself lost for words -- this was so not the person he was hoping to see. Trying his best to remain calm, Nick took a deep breath, "Caroline, I..."

"Well?" she tipped back her martini, taking a rather lengthy sip as she waited for his reply.

Looking over Caroline, Nick could see a light on in the kitchen. He could only hope that Lulu was there, that she was awake. The living room to the left is dark, and the house is otherwise quiet. Nick had to see her, "where's LuLu? "

Caroline remained in front of the door, blocking his entry into the house. She casually glanced up the stairs, "...I'm not so sure Louisa wants to see you..." She looked at back at a disheartened Nick, unwilling to give up, "its a little late for that, don't you think?"

"I need to talk to her..." Nick stammered, as he tried to get past Caroline, know sure tht Lulu was at home.

Setting her drink on the small table, Caroline stood in front of the stairs, "not so fast, Mr. Fallin..."

"Who was at the door, Mom?" Lulu called out from upstairs.

"Lulu?" Nick looked at Caroline, determined to stay.

Lulu tightened the knot on her robe and removed the towel from her wet head, setting it on the banister before she descended the stairs. She knew their conversation was inevitable, as difficult as it might be. There were certain things Nick needed to hear, though by now it might not make much difference for him to know how she felt.

Seeing Nick standing there with her mother, Lulu felt completely overwhelmed. Caroline was pushing her toward a decision that she didn't want to make and Nick was simply unwilling to tell her how he felt. To be caught between the proverbial rock and a hard place simply didn't describe the situation she found herself in. There was an awkward moment of silence, it seemed as if no one knew what to say.

Feeling Caroline's eyes burning through him, Nick looked over at LuLu, "... we can go somewhere, to... uh... talk?"

Lulu shrugged weakly, not quite up to going out, "we can stay here...?"

Nick hesitated a moment, not wanting to have this type of conversation with Caroline there, "uh... I thought... maybe..."

Seeing that her mother wasn't getting the hint, Lulu nodded and walked back toward the stairs, "I'll go get dressed..."

Caroline set her drink back on down on the table and grabbed her purse and keys, "its your house... I'll go..."

Nick forced himself to smile, "good night, Caroline..."

"I'll call you in the morning, Louisa," Caroline told her as she opened the door, but was reluctant to leave just yet -- feeling as if she was walking away from Lulu yet again. She glanced back up at her daughter, "I'll be at the hotel tonight, leave a message if you need me."

"Thanks, Mom," Lulu replied sadly, and then looked to Nick, who was pacing nervously before her with his hands shoved deeply inside his pockets. She flashed an awkward smile, "so here we are..."

**

[juliana106]

**
(that evening, at Lulu's)

Sitting awkwardly alongside Nick on the couch, the silence between them was almost painful. Lulu almost wondered why she had asked him to come by, since apparently he wasn't in the mood to talk. She could spend the entire evening, just looking at him, and trying to read his thoughts through the expressions on his face -- but that would still get her no where with him. All the guesses in the world wouldn't amount to anything if this wasn't what he wanted, what he felt.

Nick turned his head slowly, and looked at Lulu. A small, pained smile crept across his face. He just didn't know what to say to her, he wasn't adept to this type of discussion. There was an incessant tugging at his heart, like he was supposed to tell her how he felt, what he wanted from her -- that he wanted her... he just couldn't. Looking at her didn't make it easier, her eyes seemed to be pleading each time they locked with his. God it was hard just sitting there, but he wasn't about to leave.

Despite her initial hesitation, Lulu finally spoke up, "so...what do you want me to do, Nick?"

"To do?" Nick repeated, caught off guard by the sudden beginnings of a conversation.

"About the pregnancy," Lulu clarified, though she was baffled by the look of uncertainty in Nick's voice, as if this was a discussion he still wasn't ready to have.

Nick nodded, and considered all that he had heard over the past few days, and drew his own conclusion... "well, I thought you were going to... uh... "

"I'm asking you what you think, Nick..." Lulu again tried to read the expression on his face, but she found herself wanting more than the sad messages his eyes conveyed.

Put on the spot, Nick knew he had to tell her something. If she wanted a reaction, that was exactly what she was going to get -- he was scared to death by the prospect of losing her, and confronting fatherhood...she of all people should know that, she should be able to see that. He took a deep breath, trying to remain calm. Having convinced himself that this is what he needed to do, Nick asked her, "why are you doing this to yourself... what are you trying to prove?"

Slightly offended, Lulu fired back, "is that what you think? that I'm out to prove something?"

Very tensely, Nick replied, "no... you're just not thinking about this, about what could happen if..." he stopped himself a moment, reluctant to continue but feeling as if he had to. Nick turned his head slowly, watching her reaction from the corner of his eye as he spoke "you're just not thinking of the consequences..."

Biting down on her lower lip, trying to fight back the tears, Lulu spoke in her own defense, "I told you before, I can't live my life based upon if's and what might happen... "

"That's what I'm trying to tell you... " Nick painfully returned, pausing momentarily to catch his breath,
"there... there... just aren't any guarantees -- if you need assurance, well... you're... you're not going to get it... "

"This is how you feel?" Lulu asked, avoiding his sad eyes.

"No... no...I don't know dammit!" Nick stammered, feeling more pressured than ever to say the right thing yet incapable of doing so. He staired at blankly at the floor, trying to focus, and find the words he so desperately need. Without looking at her, he slowly began... "I overheard...you..."

Oh God, Lulu thought to herself as she asked him, "you overheard what?"

"You were talking, to Caroline, in your office..." Nick started, stopping to see if she picked up on his lead.

"I'm getting a second opinion, tomorrow," Lulu replied quickly, hoping to curb the conversation before it got any further.

Nick looked at her, his heart in his eyes, "Lulu, come on... if this is going to... " he found himself unable to finish, he didn't want to think about that. Nick didn't want to even imagine loosing her, but it was a reality he might have to face if she didn't carefully consider their predicament. As difficult as it was, he had to tell her what he was thinking, "you almost died a few months ago... don't take that risk again..."

Unable to take much more of the uneasiness between them, Lulu interrupted and asked, "do you want this baby, Nick?"

Do I want it? Of course I do... he thought to himself, but he couldn't articulate that to her. He didn't feel that he was ready, not for fatherhood or the emotions that came with it. Nick shook his head, "it doesn't matter what I want..."

Lulu reached out and took his hand into her own, and held it tightly, "it matters to me, Nick..."

Nick could feel his heart pounding madly in his chest, she wanted to know what he thought, what this all meant to him. Why can't I tell her? God dammit... Nick turned his head again, catching only a short glimpse of her, "Lulu... its your decision... you should do what's best for you... "

"This isn't just my baby..." she argued, hoping to provoke more than his indifferent response.

"Its your body," Nick quietly replied, feeling no right to make such a powerful claim -- even if she was correct in stating that it wasn't just her baby...it was as much his child as it was her's, whether he was ready to admit that or not.

Lulu could feel her eyes slowly filling with tears, "so that means you can't have an opinion?"

Again on the spot, and trying to explain himself, Nick mumbled, "when... when you found out...you already made up your mind..."

"I didn't think that..." Lulu stopped herself, the hurt very clear in her voice, "when I found out, you said nothing..."

Unable to fight the truth in her words, Nick looked up at her, "what do you want me to say, Lulu? what the hell do you want me to say?"

**

[cecilia]

Slow motion death....

DH and the fanfic writers are working hard in order to give us a headache.....Sarah, please....when are they gonna be able to speak?.....
Couldn´t nick call her?...He is better on the phone....he even told his father he loved him.....
once.....

but it would be an improvement.... .....
Anyway, I love this fic and I´m very happy your finals are over!.....how did you do?....

[juliana106]

Now having had well over a week to process all that DH's finale entailed... I'm almost done with my own.

Stay tuned

[jevees]

OK, but try not to make us wait to much... this is a great story!! I`m looking foward to read the end!

[juliana106]

**
(at LuLu's, that evening)

"LuLu..." Nick said finally, breaking the long silence between them. After he had asked her what the hell do you want me to say, he considered leaving when she didn't reply. Nick thought for a minute that maybe she was just as confused as he was by their relationship, that maybe Ms. Perfect didn't have all the answers.

"What?" she answered sharply, still stunned and hurt by his earlier outburst.

Nick turned his head away from her a moment, and then focused his eyes on the floor, "I am trying to do the right thing here... with you... and this, ... this baby... you're not making this any easier..."

"Easier? is that what you want?" LuLu fired back, wondering just how things had gotten so bad between them. She didn't know how to make this any easier for him, she had been more than willing to take complete responsibility. He wasn't the one who was pregnant, he wasn't the one who faced starting over... yet again. LuLu thought about what Nick had said for a minute, before she had left for the interview in California, about not making it everyone else's problem -- maybe that's what she was doing. This was the type of confrontation she wanted to avoid, this was the exact reason why she felt it would be better for her to leave.

"Dammit, LuLu..." Nick stopped himself there, taking a deep breath and struggling to remain in control.

Taking his hand into her own, LuLu tried her hardest to reason with him, to let him off the hook gently, "...it doesn't make sense, Nick, to get married because of the baby... aren't you the one who said if it makes sense, do it -- but if not, don't make it everyone else's problem?"

"That's not what I meant," Nick stammered, hurt that she would've taken his words so literally, especially in their situation. He would've thought she knew him better, that she knew how he felt about her... and the baby.

"Then what did you mean?" she asked, although LuLu knew all too well that you shouldn't ask questions you really don't want to know the answers to.

Nick looked back at her, the hurt in her eyes was almost tangible, "I offered to marry you because..."

"Offered," LuLu repeated coldly, finding offense in the word itself.

"What?" Nick wasn't sure what he had done wrong, thinking that if he explained himself, maybe LuLu would know just how strongly he felt.

"You offered," LuLu clarified, holding Nick's hand loosely in her own, "but its not a business proposal, Nick, its not that type of offer...

Nick shook his head in disbelief, "I know that..."

"What seems to be the right thing isn't necessarily right for everyone... " she said softly, as she reached her other hand out and lightly ran it against Nick's back.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Nick demanded, his eyes once again staring down at the floor.

LuLu moved her hand from his back, having felt him jerk at her touch, "you offered, Nick, you don't offer to marry someone just because of the situation... or predicament that you find yourselves in..." she paused a moment, checking his face for reaction, "if you want to marry someone, you ask...because you love them, because you want to spend the rest of your life with them... "

"How would you know about what I want?" Nick snapped, unaware of just how harsh he sounded until the words echoed through his mind and he saw the raw pain in her eyes.

LuLu closed her eyes, fighting back the tears. She bit down hard on her lower lip, trying to stop the quivering, "if you didn't shut me out, I'd know..."

"LuLu, I..." Nick was exasperated by their conversation, and could feel himself slipping into emotional shutdown.

"Instead," LuLu started slowly, "you're making it pretty clear what you don't want..." she stopped herself there, unable to continue. LuLu knew what she wanted to say, that he didn't want her, or their relationship, much less... a baby. That's exactly what his silence had led her to believe.

**